Pattaya - Town with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde Multiple Personalities Part 1

We headed off to Pattaya, a seaside town about 2 hours from Bangkok, for 3 days and 2 nights. We stopped at a number of different attractions on the way there to break up the journey a bit.

First up, we went to Safari Park.

There were lots of school kids there on excursions but that's nothing new. Everywhere we went, we saw huge groups of tourists.

Apparently the park won best public toilet of the year!!!

What do you think? Was it well-deserved?

We went on the safari first which was basically a ride in our van through the park as we pointed and gawked at wild animals right outside our van.

Ostriches:

The camels got very close to us:

Did you know a rat can actually outlive a camel without water? I learnt that from playing the world's dumbest board game, Quelf. Thanks for the games night, Mel. I had LOADS of fun.

Zebras:

Rhinos co-existing peacefully with the zebras:

Giraffes... super jealous of their legs and long eyelashes.. both things I sadly lack:

Bisons???? Maybe:

Then we went through a series of gates to get to Lions Country..... The sign made me wants to go "Well, DUH!".. There were guards sitting in their cars dotted around this area. I guess they want to make sure no dumb tourist actually get out of their cars to take a close up pic of the kitty cats. But if you ask me, if they are dumb enough to get out then they deserve to be eaten. No point sullying up the human gene pool, I say.

Lion and his harem...

Tigers:

These two frisky tigers pranced around in the water energetically... ahhhhh young love! It doesn't last. Heheh.

Young frisky male tiger in hot pursuit of the young female tiger babe.

He chased her around acting all aggressive and stupid.... hmmm, much like the behaviour you can see in the playground...

Bear with its a$$ in a bath tub.....

I was going to write something clever about Goldilocks and the 3 Bears but I didn't have a pic with only 3 bears in it.... oh well!

Bear sunning himself/herself:

Close up:

This grumpy old bear was being a bully so the guard had to drive up and give him a talking to.

After the safari, we headed into the park for more animalistic fun. Hello, King!

Fake giraffe display:

Real parrots:

It was such a hot day and the park had these tubes running everywhere which spurt cold water out periodically. Mum was not impressed by the sun as you can see.

Tapirs..... not something you would see in NZ or Oz....

We then went and watched the seals performance... the set was cute huh?

The seals did the usual.... catching hoops with their necks:

Balancing a ball on their nose while swimming:

Balancing umbrellas on their noses while swimming:

Jumping over hoops:

One of the keepers pretended to be unconscious...

...the other lifeguard tried to revive him unsuccessfully....

....the seal then pushed him out of the way and gave the poor unconscious keeper a kiss of life.... mmmm fishy breath!

Pretending to be musicians and dancing...

Note: If an animal can multi-task, what does that say about a man who can't? Hmmmmmm....

After the seal performance, we wandered into the bird enclosure. There was a Komodo Dragon (I think) sunning in the sun in one of the side enclosures...

Mum's inner child came out and she bought some bird feed to feed the parrots... The parrots weren't very excited by her though. I think they have been spoilt by all the tourists suckers. Anyway she eventually attracted one parrot....

... and then another one. Apparently, they got a bit too excited and started pecking at mother's skin.

Boring bird feed.... one of the birds apparently preferred mother's top.

These 2 random men came up to Mum and put their hand out for bird feed!!! She gave them some too!!! I then came charging up all indignant at their rudeness as they shuffled off without a word after receiving their goodies. I called out to them that a thank you wouldn't have gone amiss but they either didn't hear or can't understand. Asshats!

Lots of mandarin ducks hanging around the place too...

They are the symbols of love for the Chinese. Here's a pair of lovebirds... the dull one is the girl and the colourful one is the boy... I don't get that!! Shouldn't the pretty one be the girl as is the case in the human world? No fair!

Saw this cliched and sexist game on the way to the next attraction... girl sitting a bench with people (men!) throwing balls at a target to get her to fall off her seat and into the water... and then emerge looking all wet and sexy I suppose.

Next attraction: Wild Wild West!

This was the town wench... yuck if you ask me.

Basically it was the typical country western scene. A bandit robs the bank and come charging out.... in this case, the bandit is a good looking woman! Yee ha.

She is then confronted by the town sheriff and his lackeys...

A confrontation takes place.....

.... which leads on to a whole lot of comedic fighting... Some dude here came out of the bar that just exploded... we left before it ended to beat the crowd to the restaurant. We Hiis got our priorities right, ya see.

Tourist Restaurant A (there's Restaurant B too... don't expect quality food):

Lunch was buffet style with 2 meat dish, 2 vege dish, rice and noodles from memory. It tasted as good as it looked:

Dessert was yuck too which meant I was not a happy camper:

After lunch, we had some spare time before the next attraction started which worked out well because look what I got to do!!! The little cub smelt so gorgeous...

There were 3 sizes of tigers to choose from - mini, medium and maxi. I chose mini of course for the cuteness factor. Dad suggested I go for the maxi option to get my money's worth. Errr no thanks Dad... I am kinda fond of my arms and face.

Mum got a sneaky cuddle too.... Poor Dad didn't... boo.

We then went off to our next attraction - dolphins and whales performance. We enjoyed a refreshing ice block before it started.

Dolphins saying Hi:

Dolphins swimming while wearing giant glasses.... not sure why this was meant to be adorable:

Dolphins jumping up to touch the balls in the air with their noses:

Dolphins twirling hoops with their noses while swimming:

After the dolphins did their thing, it was the albino whales' turn. They are very rare by the way!

Whales swimming on their bellies:

Another observation: If animals can be trained to do all these tricks, surely men can be trained to leave the toilet seat down????????

We also found time in our schedule to make an impromptu visit to the Gems Galleria..

We weren't allowed to take photos inside so I had to content myself with this shot of the hostesses and the front desk. We then jumped in a cart and went for a ride amusement park style. We went pass displays of how gems are mined and made into jewellery. Methinks this place makes too much money!

Dinner was here:

Tom Yum soup:

Fishcakes:

Clams:

Veges:
After dinner, we had a 2 hour massage at some dingy shop behind an Asian restaurant. Seriously, don't use a tour guide in Asia. Do your own research and go your own way. So-called 4 star tours do not exist because you still get given cr@p and the extra money you pay just go towards lining the agent's pockets even more. Not cool!

Mum and Dad pre-massage in the clothing their supplied.....

The next day, we had breakfast in the hotel...

.... had the usual - freshly made omelette, sausages, etc.

Oh ya, I took another paparazzi style photo of this dirty old dude with his rent-a-wife from our room..... yick!

Photo of the pool at our hotel where I took a dip in. I tried to swim width-wise (not length-wise) and nearly killed myself. Luckily no one was around to witness my humiliation heheh. I got the most awesome tan from the 2 days at Pattaya... Mum liked to point out my tan to her friends by saying "Look at 22! She looks like a monkey!"... Thanks, Mum.

View from the pool..... sigh, I miss Thailand! I miss my tan.... boo.

We were going to Coral Island that morning for a whole lotta exciting water fun! So we headed down to the beach after breakkie.

Me and my Mummy....

Row of speedboats ready to take all the cattle.. I mean, tourists to the neighbouring islands:

First stop was this platform in the middle of the sea where you can do a gentle form of paragliding... i.e you get pulled along by a speedboat while hanging in the sky rather than free gliding.

Lots of pasty Asian men waiting for their turn.....

Me in my gear:

Me in the sky as I came back in for landing. That was so much fun and one of my 2009 resolutions to try! Yay.

We then hopped back in a speedboat and continued on to Coral Island aka Koh Larn. It is a little tropical island located about 7 km off the coast of Pattaya Beach. The Island is around 4 km long and 2 km wide and is home to approximately one thousand residents. Most of the locals reside in the main village, Naban. There are six beaches on the island that has white sand and clear blue water. The terrain is mainly mountainous which is covered in most part with jungle.

We decided to try sea-walking so Mum and Dad had to buy some beachwear as we would be fully submerged in the water. Awww don't they look good together? Still got their good looks!!

Seawalking involved us wearing these moonwalking-like helmets and being dropped onto the seabed. We were meant to be able to walk around but it was sooooo tiring with all the currents working against us so we probably only managed to walk a few steps, knelt down to take a few pics and then it was time to go up again!

Wohooo check out my thin thighs.... seawater made them look way more attractive than they are in real life. Is it possible to live inside a giant bubble of seawater?

That dude behind me flirted lots with me in a silent under-the-water way... he obviously thought my thighs were smaller than they really were too....

The helmets were so clever and weird... we were able to breath normally as the helmets somehow created a pressure inside and we could even poke our hands into the helmets to scratch our faces or something without the water going up!

Even paradise has a commercial element to it... row of stalls selling touristy knick knacks:

We also went for a dip in the lagoon as we were already wet.... the water was gorgeous... so warm!! While we were shoulder deep in the water, a guy came up to us (like the dude in the picture below) and asked us if we wanted to go for a spin on their water scooter or go for the seawalk. They were offering cheaper deals as they cut out the tour guide's commission! Drats... darn thieving tour guides... Dad and I went for a spin on the water scooter.. FUN!

I always thought I was a concrete jungle kinda girl with no interest in holidays involving beaches and resorts. Boy, was I wrong! Although I think I would still want a bit of shopping....

Got back to Pattaya and snapped this pic of another old dude and his lady friend.